Reflective Coaching

“It’s all about the relationship!” How often have we heard or uttered this ourselves? Whether our business is counseling, sales, law or any profession dealing directly with clients, we understand that the crux of business is the relationship between the employee (attorney, therapist, sales rep or other) and that client. That relationship needs to be built on trust in which they listen to their clients’ needs and respond by helping them visualize and then attain a workable solution.

The same should be true with the relationship between managers and staff. As managers, however, we too often focus on numbers, outcomes and verdicts (the product) over the relationship (the process) in our supervisory relationships. We practice “do as I say, not as I do” management style. If we really believe that relationship earns the results, then we must model that desired relationship in our interaction with the staff we manage.

Traditional product-focused coaching zeros in on tangible, imposed objectives: land this sale, win this trail, change this behavior, meet this quota. Product-focused coaching maintains the status quo and often supresses challenge and questioning. On the reverse, challenge and questioning is where Reflective Coaching comes alive. Reflective Coaching requires that the manager and employee take an investigative approach toward growth. Managers are curious about the process their employee used in an event, what the employee was thinking and feeling during the event and then analyzing how new realizations can be applied to the next event. Unlike traditional performance coaching, Reflective Coaching provides a continuous feedback loop between the individual and the manager. The manager inquires and listens more, talks less. By building this relationship, change is not only an improvement of the status quo, they are truly transformation.

Unplug Stress

6 Easy Ways to Reduce Stress, is a good article that describes simple ways to decrease your workplace stress. What I found interesting is that nearly all of them could be boiled down into one word: disconnect. Step away from emails and techology at least once a day. Hand over parts of your workload that is unreasonable. Turn off the news. Don't worry about what you can't control (traffic or other people). Walk away (figuratively and literally) from stressed people. Every example is a form of walking away.

It is true that we cannot turn our backs on whatever happens to be difficult in our life. We cannot live our lives in a bubble...but, we can certainly visit one every now and then. We all need a protective barrier. Just like pollution wearing away ozone, however, exposure to negative emotions (ours or others') wears our protective barrier down. Stepping away, even for a brief time, allows us a chance to refortify.

The good news is, even a little change to our rountine can help a lot. I challenge each of you to try to do just one of these 6 things for one week. Come back next Monday and tell me how you feel.

My Thoughts Exactly

As someone who works every day to protect children from child abuse and neglect, I struggled to express what I felt about the case and verdict against Casey Anthony. A blog post, Saving Everyone's Baby, put to words what I feel about our society's sporadic response to child abuse:

"If we carry on one more day about how outraged and angry we are about the jury verdict, about all the vengeful thoughts we have against Casey Anthony, about how God is going to bring down justice on the killer and on and on and on…………we are part of why this child is gone and we lose one more day to save children like her. And if you do not know, you need to research and know and understand one thing: There are thousands of Caylees in this country right now."

You see, I couldn't help but imagine how awesome it would be if the throngs of people milling around outside of the court room, instead, show up to places like Children, Youth and Family Services or other non-profits working to prevent child abuse and care for victims. I imagine what it would be like if the signs they carried condemning Casey Anthony instead read: "How Can I Help?" I imagine how great it would be if reporters were to do stories on the volunteers, social workers and therapists saving children and families every day and, thereby, encouraging more to do the same.

Because we DO need help. We need parent mentors, we need foster families, we need adults who are stewards of children, we need advocates for law and policy that protect children, we need volunteers who will read a book to a child, take a walk with a teenager or listen to a parent who is at her breaking point.

Hold your signs and shake your fists if you must. I understand that we all need to release the emotions of anger and helplessness. However, I am here to tell you that once you are ready to put your signs down, we need you. There is a lot of work to be done.

For information and resources on how you can help, visit Prevent Child Abuse America by clicking on the picture below:

Go Home Early!

I know that's what you wanted to hear on a Friday and I aim to please. We've all heard the adage work smarter not harder; as it turns out, there is truth to it...sort of. Perhaps the better adage should be 'work smarter AND harder, but in less time', but that is not quite as catchy. A study done by Dr. K. Anders Ericcson, published in the Psychological Review and recently recounted in the Business Insider, found that working intensly for short amounts of time produces more results than drudging along for an 8 hour day.

Why is this? Many of us (myself included) work at a desk all day from 9-5, but Facebook or an email account stays minimized in the bottom of  our computer screens. The temptation is simply too great not to check that new notification or most recent email that comes through. While technology is often to blame, so is our temptation to eavesdrop on that hallway conversation or swing by the bathroom one more time. In what I am sure is only the most rigorous of scientific studies, I read somewhere that the average worker spends more time in the bathroom than on vacation. That's either sad, incorrect or we have a nation of people needing to see a gastroenterologist. Regardless of what pulled us away, our concentration is then broken and it takes us another minute or two to regain our focus and peak performance. Not only have we lost time, we have lost quality of work as well.

Dr. Ericcson's research followed violin students and compared the "best students" with the "good students". What he found was that the best students set a specific goal to complete during practice and then take longer breaks (or even quit for the day). This is also true with successful authors, many of whom write in the morning hours, finish before lunch and spend the rest of the day in leisure. Not too shabby. If you are thinking that you are neither a concert violinist nor John Grisham, follow some of these tips to apply the theory into your work day:

• Don't check your email. Not right away at least. Choose a time in late morning or just after lunch to check your email and respond to critical ones. Which leads me to my next tip...
• Know which emails are critical. Responding to the Evite for your co-worker's barbeque invitation is not critical. Responding to an invitation to conduct a training for a client is critical.
• Choose what project you are going to work on and then clear your desk of anything else.
• Give yourself a specific goal of what you want to complete and then give yourself a break. For a short project, your goal might be to finish completely; for a longer project, your goal might be to give it one, concentrated hour of your time.
• When you are done, stop.

So, right after you finish reading this blogpost, get to work and enjoy your Friday a few hours earlier!

Corporate Social Responsibility: Not Just About Being Mr. Nice Guy

Bleeding heart. Tree hugger. Do-gooder. Idealist. These are not the phrases often associated with those sitting in the C Suite. What those in the C Suite are realizing, however, is that corporate social responsibility (CSR) is no longer an option; it is a necessity. CSR might include green initiatives in the workplace or larger funding for global issues like the fight against human trafficking. Whatever the issue, it is about more than simply creating "good press"; indeed it is correlated to employee performance and the company's bottom line.
Towers Watson conducted a study on the global workforce and discovered that issues related to CSR is the third most important factor in employee engagement and the sixth most important driver when it comes to attracting new talent.
When senior management is visibly involved in the issue, employees are even more responsive. They tend to have more positive attitudes and they act more quickly to resolve customer concerns. People want to work hard for companies they believe work hard for them and their communities.
What is your company doing to promote corporate social responsibility? Are you able to say that your CSR efforts are having the impact you desire? If the answer is no or you are not sure, then your bottom line and the greater good might be suffering.

Contact Renee Branson, MA, NCC for ways to increase your company's CSR visibility.
720-220-1152
renee_branson@hotmail.com

Leaving a Bad Day Behind

I've always said that stress is sticky. Without concerted effort, it has the tendency to stay with us throughout the day even when we leave the situation that caused our stress. This is what causes us to go home and kick the dog or yell at our loved ones. A short and sweet article put out by the Harvard Business Review gives you three short tips for leaving work at work.

1. Clear your mind. Sit back in your chair and breath deeply. Think about what matters to you outside of work: family, friends, activities or hobbies.
2. Do something easy. My favorite easy end of the day task is to clean off my desk. No, don't dive into a major reorganization! Simply stack papers that had been spread out, put the pens back in the cup holder and the stapler back in the drawer. Make sure there is empty space on your desk. If there is something that I know needs my attention (perhaps even the cause of that day's stress) I put it on the top of my stack, ready for tomorrow. For you, it might be to respond to a few simple emails or other routine task. This also has the added benefit of starting your day off right tomorrow by leaving behind an organized space.
3. Get up and leave. Once you have finished that last job, stand up, grab your bag and walk out the door. Don't chat, linger or check email "one last time." Go. Home.

Whoa, Nelly!

Step away from your phone before you make that angry call. Do not push the send button on that email that YOU WROTE IN ALL CAPS. Hold on before you storm someone's office. I can almost guarantee: You. Will. Regret. It.

Why? As if it weren't bad enough that the nasty stress hormone cortisol can make us overweight, sickly and forgetful, it also appears as though it also makes us make bad decisions. If you think back to my last article , we know that cortisol makes some parts of our body's function slow down (digestion, memory, immune system). Cortisol also flips the switch from our rational, parasympathetic nervous system to our more lizard-brained sympathetic nervous system. This simply means that we have a hair-trigger response to perceived threat (real or not). We become myopic and primal. The best advice, most simple advice I've heard on how to circumvent this knee-jerk reaction to calling someone a Jerk is this: Whatever you feel compelled to do, don't.

Cortisol Crazies

I was a Warrior this weekend. I spent Saturday at the Warrior Dash charging through miles of mud, military obstacles, creek beds, barbed wire, fire and more mud. Lots and lots of mud. Now I'm sitting at my desk on a Monday morning banged up and bruised ready for the week.

This might seem counter intuitive to many people who see the weekend as their one opportunity all week to rest and relax. As a compassion fatigue specialist, should I know more than others the importance of a hammock, a good book and a glass of wine, right? To that I say, "Yes. And..."

Yes, we do need periods of time when we are quiet with our minds and our bodies, times when we literally slow down from our normal pace. And we also need ways for our bodies to process and release nasty "feel bad" chemicals that collect in our bodies. We are still the products of our prehistoric selves. Stress creates a physical response that releases cortisol. If we actually were in physical danger we would fight or flee and that cortisol would be used up. Emotional and mental stress also releases cortisol. In this case, however, we are not given the opportunity to burn it off.

Why is this bad? Think of cortisol like you think of cholesterol. Unused, it build up and begins impeding the normal functioning of vital systems. In this case it impedes memory functioning and the immune system. Highly stressed individuals don't just seem like they are sick more often...they truly ARE sicker. The sicker they are, the more time they have to take off work which, in turn, creates more stress. You see where this is heading, don't you? In one giant circle.

Fortunately, our bodies can be amazingly efficient. Exercise not only pushes out the extra cortisol in the body, but the more we exercise the more quickly the body can return to emotional homeostasis in the future. Here's the added good news: you don't have to complete military trail runs to get the effect. Break a sweat for 20 minutes everyday and you will feel the difference physically and emotionally, need to take less time off sick from work and notice improved concentration and memory. Now, don't you feel better already?

Stiff Upper Lip

When asked for a stereotype of the British, my guess is you come up with exactly what I did: they keep a stiff upper lip. They do not show emotion in the face of adversity. They are resolute. We Americans, on the other hand, are often thought to be overly "in-touch" with our emotions. We are a nation of people laying on the therapy couch lamenting about our childhoods and bemoaning our "stress."

It surprised me to discover, then, that the British take workplace mental health and stress more seriously than we do. Indeed, in Britain, the law requires that companies there undergo regular stress audits. I ran across this trend quite by accident while looking for articles and resources on workplace mental health and burnout. What I noticed was that the majority of sites that appeared were based in the UK or Canada.

Does this refute their reputation for keeping a stiff upper lip? Or does it show that they are more willing to face a real challenge head on? Work stress is real and it is costly. A study at Middle Tennessee State University estimates that job-related stress cost American businesses over $300 billion a year in medical bills, recruiting and training. More striking, an estimated three-quarters of all doctors' visits are the result of stress related problems (from everything to diabetes, to addictions, to heart disease). The cost associated with all of those visits? About $71 billion dollars.

The Brits have realized what I hope we will soon realize: managing workplace stress isn't just a "feel good" measure, it makes real and measurable business sense.

Merge Ahead

I was driving through Charlottesville today and lamanting the local difficulty with merging. I'm not sure if it is the concept that people find difficult or just the actual practice of it. I know, I know...the merge lanes on 250 are short, visibility can be bad...I get it. This article is not actually about local driving practices. It is, however, about the importance of merging and what it might mean when we have trouble "merging" in our lives.

It takes timing to merge. Too fast and you can find yourself on someone else's tailpipe slamming on your breaks. Too slow and you'll wind up parked on the shoulder of the road. Too often we are either driving as fast as we can to meet deadlines and obligations or stuck in neutral avoiding those same deadlines and obligations. To merge in life we need to become sensitive to the timing both in and around us. Are we giving ourselves the emotional and physical fuel that is necessary when we need to speed up a bit in life? Do we know when to slow down and not micro-manage a situation? Just like the short merge lanes on St. Rt. 250 in Charlottesville, we feel like we have to make a quick decision: slam on the breaks or push the gas to the floor. At some point as drivers, however, we must learn to trust our skills and trust our judgement as drivers and make that move. So it is in life: trust yourself to know what you need and what you have to give to a situation. And then ease on the gas and merge.

Hatch or Go Bad

I've noticed a theme in the lives of many of my friends, colleagues and myself, for that matter: CHANGE. For some, the change is uninvited and unwelcome. For others, it's an unexpected opportunity. Still others are crafting a change of their own design. It can be change relating to career, family, love or location. Regardless of how much control we feel (or don't feel) about the changes occurring in our lives or what part of our lives will be affected, the common thread is that change is scary...terrifying, even. Aristotle said that change in all things is sweet. Perhaps...but we can't experience the sweetness of the change before we taste the sour sting of the process. No change is painless.

Perhaps the most agonizing part of change is the choice involved. Chocolate or vanilla? Stay or go? Go out on the limb or find solid ground? Even when it is a change we did not ask for, we must choose how to proceed in the face of change. Are we able to muster grace when we are fearful and doubting? Can we offer mercy when we are pulled toward revenge? Can we forgive ourselves when we do neither? The truth is, we are often not at our best selves in this metamorphosis.

So, why then, do we change? C.S. Lewis put it pretty starkly, "We cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, descent egg. We must be hatched or go bad." When we accept that we must change, that it must occur around us and in us, we can begin accept the distress of it. Ever see a real bird hatching? Forget the Easter images of cute chicks in perfectly halved shells. It is not a pretty sight. It is messy, slimey business. Accept that you are suppose to feel, at best, uncomfortable. We are fraught, raw-nerved and vulnerable during these periods of change. If we are lucky enough, those who care for us will also ride out the storm of change along with us. We are each becoming who we are meant to be. Have patience.

The Grumpy Effect

Attention all you Grumpy Guses and Debbie Downers, the world has finally recognized your worth! According to a researcher in Australia, grumpy people tend to think more clearly, have a better decision making process and be less gullible. This give credence to the "rose colored glasses" criticism applied to those Peppy Pam types.
Not only did the research show better decision making abilites, it also showed that mild forms of grumpiness leads to better communication skills. Perhaps this is because a grumpy person is more likely to be succinct and direct versus flowery and round about.
What does this mean in terms of the workplace? Are we all doomed to a new management trend of somber meetings and "no laugh" zones? Hopefully not. The research also shows that those with a cheerful demeanor are more creative, flexible and creative. Regardless of where you might fall in Happy-Grumpy spectrum, you now have good evidence to defend your disposition as a valuable work asset!
Feeling grumpy is "good for you", BBC NEWS

The Performance Review: Bitter Pill or Bad Medicine?

It should go without saying that I am an advocate for mental health in the workplace. It is, after all, the focus of this blog. Recently, however, I came across an article that has left me scratching my head. The article, "Time to Review Workplace Reviews" , on the New York Times website suggests that one culprit of unnecessary workplace stress is the annual performance review. Psychologist Samuel A. Culbert states that performance reviews are too subjective to be meaningful; too often bosses judge the review on their own relationship with the employee. Performance reviews are accused of being sanctioned "workplace bullying."

If we take this arguement at face value, then it seems that the real problem lies with the unethical managers who use the performance review as a whipping post and not the review in and of itself. The solution is to find better managers. If the arguement, however, is that the problem lies within the review itself, that brings up a question for debate:

Would discontinuing the annual performance review "wimpify" the American worker? I will certainly not try to argue that a review is a pleasent experience. It is clearly a stressful event. I would also say the same is true for many things in life: taxes, mamograms and final exams to name a few. All of these things have something in common; they are more or less necessary, required parts of life. Furthermore, stress is an unavoidable aspect of life. Do we create a workforce full of "soft" employees who are unable to be resilient? When employees cannot face critique from bosses and peers interally, how do they handle criticism from customers or competitors external to the company?

Not all stress is "bad" stress. Consider the fact that it is physical stress that makes our muscles stronger and our reflexes quicker. The same can be said for healthy amounts of mental stress. It can be a motivator which strengthens resolve and self-confidence. Perhaps we should not rush to throw out the performance review, but instead focus on creating ethical management and resilient employees.

Under the Gun

Monday morning, 9am and you realize that you've already double booked an appointment, lost the directions to a sales call, or prepared notes for next week's presentation instead of this week's. Bonus points if you have realized all three things at once. Being under the gun, behind the eight ball, dropping the ball...we've all had those moments. Our sense of organization suddenly crumbles. How we react next will determine if we can pull ourselves out of the spin or or simply continue to stumble forward in a series of bad-timing dominos.

For most of us (myself included), the knee-jerk reaction is try to speed up to make up for our time-draining error: we drive a bit faster to the meeting, cut corners on the report that needs writing and skip lunch all in hopes that at the end of the day we have somehow ended up back on track. More often that not, however, we end up with a speeding ticket, a report that needs to be rewritten and 3pm fatigue that strikes us comatose. Now, instead finding our groove again, we are farther behind that we were before.

Instead, try what might go against your every impulse: stop. Stop for 5, 10 or even 20 minutes to assess what might be the issue, fix the issue if it is easily fixable, then forgive yourself and let it go. This happened to me the other day when I realized that maintaning two calendars created the perfect double booking storm. Not being able to be in two places at once instantly created stress and anxiety. Some parts of that problems were easily solved; other parts of the problem will require more than 15 minutes of my attention. I did what I could do in that brief amount of time. The harder thing to do was give myself some grace and let the mistake go. How did I finally convince myself to do this? Simple. I reminded myself that self-flagalation (stewing, reprimanding, overzealous apologizing) takes time...something that I didn't have a lot of at the present moment. Letting go of the mistake in that moment involved allowing myself to sit in my car for 2 extra minutes to feel myself return to center. I was able to go forward with the day clear headed and aware of what I needed to do to prevent that mistake from happening again. Moving on ended up creating more space instead of depleating it.

How Negative Self-Talk Can Sabatoge Your Work

We all have an inner dialogue that helps us make sense of our day. We witness the world around us and apply meaning to those events based on our own beliefs. This happens in our personal life and in our work life. This is referred to as an ABC Feedback Loop by Albert Ellis. That loop can either be negative or positive. Take the following example of Jane:

Negative Feedback Loop.
Jane has been working on a project for several months now, but she has had trouble getting her boss to take the required steps to put her project into motion (A= an activating event or fact).

Jane has an internal dialogue with herself (B= beliefs/ negative self talk/ irrational ideas):
He could care less about the effort I put in--nothing would please him 
and
Why am I always put in these situations?
and
I should have learned by now how to get my efforts at work noticed
and, finally
I must really be unworthy of attention and not much of a employee.

There are, of course, outcomes of those beliefs (C= the consequences of emotions, sensations and behavior). She feels anger and resentment toward her boss and feels a sense of worthlessness toward herself. These internalized feelings result in a headache and she is short tempered with her coworkers the rest of the day. While she might say to herself, "My boss infuriates me!", Jane's self talk and interpretation of the facts has more to do with her anger.

Refuting Irrationality
It is possible to refute the irrational ideas. Once those irrational ideas are released then there is more room to address the realities of the issue. If Jane is feeling she is unworthy, I would ask her what evidence exists for the falseness of this idea. She might say that now that she had a moment to consider it, her boss praised her on her work with another project and prior to that, had chosen her to attend a conference to represent the company. She decides that the worst thing that could rationally occur from her boss's lack of response is that he will not allow himself the time to make changes to the project. The best thing that could rationally occur is that Jane would realize that her boss trusts her to put a project in motion without his micro-managment.

There are, of course, a million different scenarios that might be more applicable to your situation. The key is to slow down, consider what the facts are, what assumptions you might be making based on your beliefs and how those assumptions are impacting your next steps. By slowing down and pulling apart the threads can increase your chance of responding to your situation based on rational fact and not irrational or unhealthy emotions.

How to Maximize Employee Motivation

Boss. Team leader. The Management. Supervisor. Whatever the title and for however many employees, leaders fall into one of two primary motivational categories: there are ones who apply only external motivation and there are ones who instill internal motivation. Of course, we know that external motivation is always necessary in the work world...ask a room full of your employees who might be willing to give up their paycheck for one week and in return, be "paid" with the self-satisfaction of a job well done. You won't get many hands in the air (except maybe Bob in the corner who thinks this might his golden opportunity to prove he's ready to "take one for the team").

But before you think I've undercut my point before I've even begun, stay with me for a moment. I like to think of motivation in terms of fuel. External motivation is a quick burning fuel. It's what gets people to sign the contract and show up to the office each morning. Internal motivation is a slower burning fuel. It's what helps a person go a bit further than what was expected of him or her.

I read a story the other day that provided the perfect example of this point. A non-profit organization asked  lawyers in a firm if they would be willing to provide services for the their clients for $30 an hour. Not one attorney stepped forward. A few months later, the same organization came back and asked if there were attorneys who would be willing to provide services to their clients pro bono. The organization had several volunteers by the end of the day. What was the difference? In the first situation, the attorneys asked themselves the question, "Am I somebody who would work for $30 an hour?" The answer was clearly "No"; the external motivation was simply not enough. In the second situation, the attorneys had to ask themselves, "Am I someone who would provide my services pro bono?" and the answer was "Yes." In this case, the internal motivation was the opportunity for those lawyers to live their personal values.

As a leader in your business, how are you providing opportunities for your team to tap into their internal motivation?


Do you:

Provide a sense of choice and competence?

Google is famous for allowing their employees to spend up to 20% of their time working on a project of their own choosing, something they feel engaged and passionate about. We all know Google's success story and this 20% "free time" has resulted in some of their most successful ventures and applications. True...we all can't be Google because be can't all afford to be Google, but there are ways to encourage choice. One way to do this also provides a sense of competence. I was just reminded of a quote from General Patton, "Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity." In short, stop micro-managing and you will build a sense of choice and competence in your team members. It might seem more efficient on the front end to tell your team how a project should be done versus asking them for their suggestions and expertise. However, if they are invested in the process, they will be more invested in the product.

Provide a sense of progress?

I am a distance runner; I run for myself and no one else. It's one of the few things I can truly say that about. Still, when I run a race, I need to see those mile markers! A few years ago I was running a half marathon and had passed the 11 mile marker. After 10 minutes had past, I started looking for mile 12. It never came. My logical self told me that I somehow missed it...had turned to look the other way or zoned out. Furthermore, my logical brain reminded me that I had run this course before and I was certainly beyond the 12 mile mark. This is where the brain gets tricky, however. For all its ability to be "logical", in times of stress and strain, it is anything but! I began to convince myself that mile 12 was never going to come...and therefore the race would never be complete. I would simply continue to slog ahead, muscles burning, disheartened for all of eternity. My body began to actually feel heavier and my pace dropped off. About that time, I came upon the 13 mile marker that confirmed what my logical brain already knew...that the race was almost over. The emotional part of my brain, however,  needed the reminder and encouragement that I was nearing my goal. I instantly felt lighter, faster and stronger to push through the finish line. 

Yes, you might provide your team members with a definitive finish line, but are you providing them with mile markers?


Provide a sense of meaningfulness?

If you are feeling cynical, you might question whether or not all jobs have meaning. We often reserve the concept of "meaningfulness" for when it is applied to the "greater good." Jim from The Office might chafe at me telling him that he could find meaningfulness in selling paper. So how can we expand this idea of meaningfulness?

Does your team have the ability to connect with the customers/ clients they serve? When we lose sight of who our work affects and how, we have a tendency to become less internally motivated by the work we do. 

Do you provide your team with the ability to grow, learn and challenge themselves? Taking the time to ask a team member to reflect on his or her last work experience is inherently intrinsic. It shows that you value you THEIR opinion of the teams' performance or experience. Instead of going straight for "Let me tell you what I saw from your last performance/ project/ report", instead go for, "Tell me about your experience in this last round of client meetings." It shows that you expect that they find meaning in what they do. Furthermore, this should not be saved for the annual evaluation or only after a big event, but weekly and in small ways. 

Similarly, when a team member experiences a success, instead of solely providing extrinsic praise ("You've done a great thing for this company!"), include praise that promote intrinsic pride, ("Wow...that was a big win! Tell me what that was like for you!). 


The amazing thing about a motivated employee base is not just in the monetary gains for the company, but there are gains in the harder to measure values of employee satisfaction, lower stress levels and lower turnover.

Blame Game

When it comes to workplace stress, it is an understandable reaction to blame someone or something else for that stress. After all, it's called "workplace stress" so it must be work's fault. A person experiencing workplace stress or burnout is likely to fall into the trap of blaming the boss, team leader or co-workers for that stress. It's exactly that, however: A Trap! Blaming creates a sense of being stuck and helpless. Anytime we feel helpless, we begin to see ourselves as powerless and unable to change our situation. It is difficult, if not impossible, to work from a position of empowerment and be proactive when we identify ourselves as a victim.

As a side note, blaming triggers stress hormones like adrenaline. Adrenaline is useful when it is from challenge-focused, primary arousal (survival situations, competition and even job situations like a big presentation); however, long-term affects of adrenaline from secondary arousal (vague, persistent worrying) eventually depletes a person's energy and can actually damage one's health. Simply put, no one can stay in "fight or flight" mode indefinitely. It's exhausting!

But what if my boss really is a huge jerk?

Fair enough. There are plenty of people in the world who seem to serve the sole purpose of making life difficult. It is true that we have very little, if any, control over how people behave. That does not mean we are trapped. It means we have difficult choices. A person might be in a miserable situation at work, but that pain seems more tolerable to him or her than the alternative. If a person allows those other choices to remain vague, he is once again allowing that secondary, useless form of adrenaline to take hold. The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook outlines five questions to ask yourself to help identify your actual choices:

1) What specific steps could you take to change a major stress producer at work? Notice that the question doesn't ask how you could eliminate stress altogether...focus on one major stress.

2) What would you risk in attempting that change?

3) What steps could you take to change jobs altogether?

4)What would you risk in attempting to make that change?

5) What steps could you take to change your perception of a risk so it seems more tolerable to you? i.e. if the risk is not having any idea how to begin a new job search, would you be willing to meet with a recruiter or career counselor to gain advice and insight?

The outcome of these questions will either be "Yes, I am ready to make some changes in my work life" or "No, I am going to choose to live with the current conditions because it still seems less painful than the alternative. I may choose differently in the future." Both are fair and appropriate answers. It will vary depending on your situation. Asking questions like the ones above is not a one time questionnaire. Ask yourself these questions every month or so. Do the answers change? Has your tolerance for risk changed with the evolving situation? When we recognize the choices at our disposal (whether we are ready to take them or not) it creates a sense of empowerment. We then move from the trapped victim to the empowered person making the best choice for the current situation.

Don't Assume Yourself into Stress!

When workload increases, it is natural to experience stress. Often what creates that stress is when assumptions (also called "faulty cognitions") trigger painful emotional reactions. Take the following scenario:

Mike looks at the report that he has been asked to do with dread. A few months ago this task would have been outside of his job description, but he's been required to take on more as the company has reduced staffing. He feels insecure in his ability to do the task correctly. As he stares at the unfinished work, he thinks, "I've got to complete this report perfectly or I'm going to end up with a pink slip on my desk." His second thought is, "My boss is doing this to me and it's not fair." Often, the third thought (either consciously or subconsciously) is, "I'm trapped here!"

The first thought Mike has creates anxiety, his second thought makes him angry and his third triggers depression. Much of Mike's stress is caused not by the task itself, but on the assumptions about the task. He has made two critical faulty cognitions:

1) His first assumption (faulty cognition) is that the report must be perfect. The trouble with "perfect" is that it is very hard to quantify. Whether the goal of "perfect" was self-imposed or demanded by the boss, it is necessary to define what "perfect" looks like. If it means that budgeting figures in the report must be accurate, that is a more manageable goal than "perfect" because it is targeted and verifiable. It is just like a child afraid of a dark closet. The fear of the unknown is more frightening than the known. Define the goal of the task specifically.

2) His second faulty cognition is that the boss will fire him if the report isn't perfect. Is this a realistic assessment of what might happen for Mike's situation? Perhaps...but perhaps not. Being realistic also means being specific. Being specific reduces the vague sense of doom. If Mike can slow his thinking down, he might begin to assess his situation more accurately: "If I don't get those figures right the first time around, I'm going to have to stay late tonight. I had hoped to get out on time to meet friends for dinner. I'll be disappointed if I can't, but I can manage that."

Any time you begin to have vague, catastrophic fears about consequences of missing your mark at work, remind yourself of what you know is a realistic consequence. If you don't know...FIND OUT! Ask your boss or team leader what would happen if you failed to meet a deadline, turned in a report with errors or had a poor performance in a meeting.

Reducing assumptions will reduce anxiety. The snowball stops rolling; the angry act of blaming and the depressed feeling of being trapped don't have to occur.

Up Next: I've passed anxiety and I'm already knee deep in blaming! NOW what do I do???

How Employee Mental Health Affects a Company's Bottom Line

I read a short article entitled "The Hidden Cost of Turnover", which highlights both measurable and hard to measure costs of employee turn-over. The article detailed everything from the cost of recruiting fees to the "learning curve" cost of a new employee who might take time to perform at peak levels. The article didn't provide any "take away" figures on what exactly that cost might be, so I decided to look into it myself. In a study done by Bliss & Associates, Inc, they found that the cost of turnover is 150% of the employee's annual compensation. That figure grows to 200% to 250% when turnover is within managerial and sales positions. Costs included both direct expense such as advertising and temporary staffing and the indirect cost of lost productivity. With figures that dramatic, the cost of turnover quickly stops being "hidden." The next logical question in the article was "are you doing enough" to decrease turnover?


And then the article ended.


That's like leading a horse, not to water, but to an empty creek bed. Here's some of the water that was missing:


In today's job market, companies might not worry about employee retention. People who have jobs are not only glad to have them, but are often willing to carry large workloads, log extra hours and even work in hostile work environments in order to keep a steady salary. While stress and less than ideal work conditions are an unfortunate necessity at times, if employees feel an undue amount of stress and burnout, they are more likely to leave that company when the job market stabilizes. A company expecting a rebound or even growth after a period of decline, might instead find themselves hit with a costly employee exodus.


As a manager or team leader, here are questions you should ask yourself:


1) Do I know the signs of workplace stress both in an individual and at a team level?


Chronic stress has affects on the physical body. Workers might experience more frequent headaches, be more susceptible to seasonal illnesses and report difficulty resting or sleeping during time off. This, naturally, can create an increase in absenteeism. Chronic stress can also decrease cognitive ability and stamina. Trouble concentrating or completing assignments is reported as a result of chronic stress.
At the team level, low morale will result in a lack of cohesiveness in decision making, more frequent office conflict and lower work quality.


2) Do I know how to decrease workplace stress for my employees?


While it is tempting to squeeze out every bit of time from employees when a company does not have the ability to increase staff size, it is important to realize that more hours in the work day does not equal more productivity. Maintaining healthy work hours and work boundaries keeps employees mentally sharp and more efficient. Challenge: for one or two weeks, avoid sending emails or work-related requests after business hours. During that one week, require employees to honor business hours; if it is time to go at 5pm, they should go home. If a project or deadline makes that impossible, require that they leave early the next day. After a week or weeks, do you notice a difference? Reports have been made that companies who work a four day week are just as productive as those who work a five day week. Could it be because those who work four days a week are more mentally rested and energized for their work?


Other areas for consideration include:
- Do employees experience chronic work overload?
-Do they experience unfair treatment by co-workers or team leaders?
-Are the expectations of employees reasonable or impossible?
-Have employees received adequate training? This is especially valid if employees have been asked to perform tasks outside of their job description due to downsizing.
-How are employees recognized for their work, especially when it is "above and beyond" the call?
-Is there clear direction about company and individual priorities?


3) Do my employees know how to manage their workplace stress?


Perhaps the question you are asking right now is, should it be my responsibility to make sure they can manage their stress? In short, yes. It will have an affect on your bottom line; more importantly, however, depending on the type of industry you are in, it is unethical to knowingly use chronically stressed, burned out employees. This is especially true in health care, helping professions such as counseling and social work, and in education. Make wellness and self-care a priority for your company and employees. Encouraging people to participate in their own care shows them that they are seen as whole individuals, not simple "workers."


Recently, an accountant for a small company expressed to her boss that she was feeling unfocused and tense because lately she hadn't been able to find the time to run. This was something that she had always used as a stress reliever. Her boss would have every right to simply ignore the statement. After all, the work day is the work day. Instead, he said, "How can we make it work that you get done what you need to do for this company and still have time for your run?" In a matter of 5 minutes they had decided that one day a week, she would come in an hour earlier so she could leave for a run at the end of the work day. It's my guess that this woman not only feels less stress and anxiety, but also has more positive feelings and loyalty toward her boss and company.


Workplace stress can be difficult to navigate for managers and employees alike. Indeed, we did not even address the burnout that is experienced by management! If your company has arrangements with an EAP, use it! If not, contact us at Lotus Counseling and Consulting to help you manage workplace stress and, in turn, make your company more productive and profitable.

RENEE BRANSON, MA, NCC

Renee Branson is a uniquely qualified business professional. With a master’s degree in counseling psychology and a bachelor’s in education, Renee has worked in the area of systemic counseling theories, gender violence (including domestic violence and human trafficking) and compassion fatigue care. Having skill in counseling and coaching individuals from diverse backgrounds and experience with world travel, Renee thrives in various environments. She has consulted with non-governmental organizations to bring compassion fatigue training and care to staff overseas. Additionally, Renee has ten years of experience in teaching, training and group facilitation. She is exceptionally able to develop and implement curricula. She has well honed skills in relationship development, team building, conflict management and problem resolution. Using her skills as a therapist, she quickly assesses the core, salient issues in order to develop interventions and solutions to the challenge. Accustom to working in a team, Renee is able to lead others in demanding situations while remaining focused and task oriented. She has extensive experience working with non-profit, humanitarian and other community organizations. As a part of this experience, she has also served as a liaison between organizations and corporations in efforts to build partnerships. Renee is known for her tenacity, her eagerness to accept new challenges and her ability to seek new and varied solutions.

EDUCATION

• MA in Counseling Psychology, University of Colorado-Denver, May 2009

• BS in Secondary Education, The Ohio State University, June 1995

SPECIALTIES:

• Relationship development

• Program development/ curricula implementation

• Secondary stress and compassion fatigue consultation

• Burnout counseling/ stress management

• Crisis counseling

• Team building