“It’s all about the relationship!” How often have we heard or uttered this ourselves? Whether our business is counseling, sales, law or any profession dealing directly with clients, we understand that the crux of business is the relationship between the employee (attorney, therapist, sales rep or other) and that client. That relationship needs to be built on trust in which they listen to their clients’ needs and respond by helping them visualize and then attain a workable solution.
The same should be true with the relationship between managers and staff. As managers, however, we too often focus on numbers, outcomes and verdicts (the product) over the relationship (the process) in our supervisory relationships. We practice “do as I say, not as I do” management style. If we really believe that relationship earns the results, then we must model that desired relationship in our interaction with the staff we manage.
Traditional product-focused coaching zeros in on tangible, imposed objectives: land this sale, win this trail, change this behavior, meet this quota. Product-focused coaching maintains the status quo and often supresses challenge and questioning. On the reverse, challenge and questioning is where Reflective Coaching comes alive. Reflective Coaching requires that the manager and employee take an investigative approach toward growth. Managers are curious about the process their employee used in an event, what the employee was thinking and feeling during the event and then analyzing how new realizations can be applied to the next event. Unlike traditional performance coaching, Reflective Coaching provides a continuous feedback loop between the individual and the manager. The manager inquires and listens more, talks less. By building this relationship, change is not only an improvement of the status quo, they are truly transformation.
