How Negative Self-Talk Can Sabatoge Your Work

We all have an inner dialogue that helps us make sense of our day. We witness the world around us and apply meaning to those events based on our own beliefs. This happens in our personal life and in our work life. This is referred to as an ABC Feedback Loop by Albert Ellis. That loop can either be negative or positive. Take the following example of Jane:

Negative Feedback Loop.
Jane has been working on a project for several months now, but she has had trouble getting her boss to take the required steps to put her project into motion (A= an activating event or fact).

Jane has an internal dialogue with herself (B= beliefs/ negative self talk/ irrational ideas):
He could care less about the effort I put in--nothing would please him 
and
Why am I always put in these situations?
and
I should have learned by now how to get my efforts at work noticed
and, finally
I must really be unworthy of attention and not much of a employee.

There are, of course, outcomes of those beliefs (C= the consequences of emotions, sensations and behavior). She feels anger and resentment toward her boss and feels a sense of worthlessness toward herself. These internalized feelings result in a headache and she is short tempered with her coworkers the rest of the day. While she might say to herself, "My boss infuriates me!", Jane's self talk and interpretation of the facts has more to do with her anger.

Refuting Irrationality
It is possible to refute the irrational ideas. Once those irrational ideas are released then there is more room to address the realities of the issue. If Jane is feeling she is unworthy, I would ask her what evidence exists for the falseness of this idea. She might say that now that she had a moment to consider it, her boss praised her on her work with another project and prior to that, had chosen her to attend a conference to represent the company. She decides that the worst thing that could rationally occur from her boss's lack of response is that he will not allow himself the time to make changes to the project. The best thing that could rationally occur is that Jane would realize that her boss trusts her to put a project in motion without his micro-managment.

There are, of course, a million different scenarios that might be more applicable to your situation. The key is to slow down, consider what the facts are, what assumptions you might be making based on your beliefs and how those assumptions are impacting your next steps. By slowing down and pulling apart the threads can increase your chance of responding to your situation based on rational fact and not irrational or unhealthy emotions.